I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not!
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said:
“We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays.”
A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom – his hands were dirty.
She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”
Smiling the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
“Here is the situation,” she said. “A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?”
A girl raised her hand and asked,
“To draw out all his savings?”
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
“Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained.
“He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts.”
“He communicates real well and I just act like I’m listening.”
My husband was home with our three-year-old son, Ben, when the plumber arrived to fix our leaky pipe. As the plumber cut a large hole in our family room ceiling,
Ben watched solemnly, then informed him, “My mommy is going to be very upset with you.”
Blankets or sleeping bag
Extra clothing including hat and gloves
24 hours worth of food
Flashlight with spare batteries
Road Flares or Reflective Triangles
Empty gas Can
First Aid Kit
I looked like a friggin idiot on the bus this morning!
“My goodness,” he said with excitement, “you appear quite elderly to be driving.”
“Well, yes, I am,” she replied proudly. “I’ll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don’t even need a driver’s license anymore. The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver’s license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the wastebasket, saying, ‘You won’t need this anymore,’ so I thanked him and left!”
“The car won’t start,” said a wife to her husband. “I think
there’s water in the carburetor.”
“How do you know?” said the husband scornfully. “You don’t
even know what the carburetor is.”
“I’m telling you,” repeated the wife, “I’m sure there’s
water in the carburetor.”
“We’ll see,” mocked the husband. “Let me check it out.
Where’s the car?”
“In the swimming pool.”
It was the toughest experience of my life.
First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.
Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.
These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
Realizing that perhaps I might do better with another doctor, I made an appointment at new medical office. The receptionist had me fill out forms that included my medical history.
I don’t know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I’ve ever had.
Some of the most tactful people on Earth are our English friends. A British office supervisor once called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired. He started the conversation with: “Miss Symthe, I really don’t know how we’re going to get along without you, but starting Monday, we’re going to try.”