Humor #36

An opinion poll was taken recently among citizens in local high-rise retirement condos. The questions were direct and simple. The poll produced few surprises. The questions and answers follow…

What’s the most important right guaranteed us by the Constitution?

— The senior citizen discount.

What is the greatest invention of the century?

— The plastic in my new knees, hips, and heart valve.

What is the surest sign society is in decline?

— Those neighbors carousing after 8 PM.

What is your favorite dinner entree?

— Early birds.

Do you have trouble eating steak or corn on the cob?

— Only when I misplace my teeth.

What’s the cheapest way to lower winter heating bills?

— Hot flashes.

What are your most bothersome medical problems?

— Those not covered by Medicare.

What’s the best substitute for a hard drug trip?

— Bending down, then standing up real fast.

What are the hardest-to-find fashion accessories?

— White shoes and belts.