An opinion poll was taken recently among citizens in local high-rise retirement condos. The questions were direct and simple. The poll produced few surprises. The questions and answers follow…
What’s the most important right guaranteed us by the Constitution?
— The senior citizen discount.
What is the greatest invention of the century?
— The plastic in my new knees, hips, and heart valve.
What is the surest sign society is in decline?
— Those neighbors carousing after 8 PM.
What is your favorite dinner entree?
— Early birds.
Do you have trouble eating steak or corn on the cob?
— Only when I misplace my teeth.
What’s the cheapest way to lower winter heating bills?
— Hot flashes.
What are your most bothersome medical problems?
— Those not covered by Medicare.
What’s the best substitute for a hard drug trip?
— Bending down, then standing up real fast.
What are the hardest-to-find fashion accessories?
— White shoes and belts.
