Humor #38

I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself, and I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo.

“Leave some ID, a driver’s license or a credit card,” she said.

“But my husband is here getting a haircut,” I explained.

“Yes,” she replied. “But I need something you’ll come back for.”

—–

An office had an blond Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’

‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.

—–

Like a lot of husbands throughout history, Webster would sit down and try to talk to his wife. But as soon as he would start to say something, his wife would say, “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

Thus, Webster’s Dictionary was born.

—–

During a visit with our daughter’s family, my husband went into the bedroom to pray. Our curious 3-year-old granddaughter followed him and came out saying, “Papa’s in there praying, and there isn’t any food!”

—–

Recently, our 4-year-old son, Dana, went next door to play with his friend Dan. Dan’s father answered the door and asked, “Dana, have you had the chicken pox?”

“What?” asked our bewildered son.

“The chicken pox,” repeated Dan’s dad.

“Well,” replied Dana, “I don’t know ’bout a chicken box, but I have a bird feeder!”

—–

It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on.

All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled.

One man, popping his head out of his cubicle, said, “Oh, man! Someone’s deodorant isn’t working.”

A man in the corner replied, “It can’t be me. I’m not wearing any.”

—–

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.

He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. It seems the minister asked my Mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband.” And she said, “I do.”

Then the minister asked my Dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” and my Mom said, “He does.”

—–

If you think my puns are bad… just wait ’til they’re full groan.

—–

World Coveting Championship: Looks likes this year’s contest will come down to who wants it more.

—–

Advertisements