Our church had been given a used organ that, after a little TLC, was soon readied for service. The anticipated Sunday arrived, for which we had hired a professional musician to play the organ. Before she hit the first note, I nodded in her direction and said, “Let’s see what the old gal can do!”
To my surprise, the congregation burst out laughing, and it was only after the red-faced organist pointed out my blunder that I realized the double meaning. To remedy the situation, I blurted out, “I mean the organ!” But it was too late.
The ultimate humiliation, though, was still to come. When the organist dramatically hit her first chord not a note sounded. Our repairman, we later discovered, had mixed up a major electrical connection.
A blind man and his seeing-eye dog walk into a store. When he gets in, he starts swinging his dog around. Upset by this, the manager of the store demands to know what he is doing.
The blind man calmly replies, “I’m just lookin’ around.”
On Palm Sunday, my five-year-old niece, Stephanie, sat on my lap while we listened to the pastor’s sermon. He described Jesus’ approach to Jerusalem and how the crowds cried, “Hosanna, Hosanna!”
At that, Stephanie perked up and began to sing, “Oh, Hosanna, now don’t you cry for me!”
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.
The primary responsibility for a child’s education is apparent.
For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.
The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop it a line.
Her company distributes gift-boxed cashews, and she has a delivery guy that drives her nuts.