Humor #63

While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye.

“Do you think Daddy would like this?” I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe.

“No way,” my horrified six-year-old son replied. “Daddy would NEVER wear that!”

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When I was young, my family was really poor.

Everything I wore – socks, blouses, even handkerchiefs – had been darned over and over by my mother.

I wasn’t the smartest or the prettiest, but I sure was the best darned kid in the neighborhood!

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An elderly fisherman wrote the following to a catalog company: “Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it’s any good, I’ll send you a check.”

In a short time he received the following reply: “Please send check. If it’s any good, we’ll send the engine.”

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Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, “Don’t worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us.”

So they shot in the air three times, but no one came. After a while, they tried it again; still no response.

Finally the second hunter said, “I suppose we can try again, but it better work this time. We’re down to our last three arrows.”

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The little boy came home from his first day at Sunday School. He told his mother that his Sunday school teacher was Jesus’ granny.

“How did you reach that conclusion?” his mother asked.

“Well, she never stops talking about Jesus,” he replied.

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“So, how are you getting along with your gorgeous new girlfriend?”

“Not so good. I asked her whether she could learn to love me.”

“Yeah — and?”

“She asked how much I was willing to spend on her education.”

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“Before you criticize someone, make sure you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you’re a mile away AND you have their shoes!”

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