Humor #101

 

 

“You Might be a Pastor If…”

 

~ You’ve waded in a creek wearing a necktie.

 

~ You’ve ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were.

 

~ You’d rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.

 

~ You see a picnic as no picnic.

 

~ You’ve ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.

 

~ You’ve been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.

 

~ You’ve ever wanted to give the sound man some feedback of your own.

 

~ You’ve ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you didn’t mean praying for him.

 

~ You often feel like you are herding cats instead of shepherding sheep.

 

~ Your sermons have a happy ending…everyone’s happy when it ends.

 

~ You’ve never preached on TV, because your wife made you get down before you broke something.

 

~ You feel that it is your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

 

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