Humor #174

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture”, and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

  1. On a Continental Flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
  2. On landing the stewardess said, “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane.”
  3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”
  4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”
  5. “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”
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