Reasons You Should Buy a New Car
Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.
You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14-year-old on a moped.
The 15-minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car for three days.
When you gas up, the attendant asks, “Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?”
Thieves repeatedly break in to your car just to steal the “Club.”
While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt.
For the last five years, you’ve had to settle for making “vroom, vroom” noises while in the driveway.
You keep losing dates on left turns.