Humor #224

Puns #2

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

15. The tiny fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its your count
that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, Im sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed
per passenger.

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says
Dam!

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you cant have your
kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other
says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that
at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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