Why do some sausages have meat at one end and corn meal at the other?
Because it is hard to make both ends meat.
Two lovers who had been apart for some time were reunited on a foggy day.
One whispered to the other, “I mist you.”
“I see you went crazy at that big summer sale.”
“You got that right. I almost bought their elevator ’cause it was marked down.”
“I felt great just chewing away, blowing huge bubbles. Then the bubble burst, it lost its flavor, and I started worrying about my life again and what it means…”
“Yep! That’s the trouble with Carefree Gum.”
I’m not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance … she leaned over and pushed me.
A tax collector went to a tannery. “Why haven’t you paid your taxes?” the collector asked the owner of the tannery.
“Business has been very bad,” answered the tanner.
“Do you mind if I check around the place?” asked the tax man.
“Go ahead,” invited the owner. “You’ll see I have nothing to hide.”