Humor #307

An expert witness in the healthcare profession has come across the following quotes from actual medical records dictated by physicians. For you MDs, excuse me!

* By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

* Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

* The patient has no past history of suicides.

* The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

* Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

* The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

* She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

* The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

* The patient refused an autopsy.