A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. “I’d like a little brother,” the boy said.
“Oh my, that’s such a big wish,” said the mother. “Why do you want a little brother?”
“Well,” said the boy, “there’s only so much I can blame on the dog.”
——
When the man came home, his wife was crying. “Your mother insulted me,” she sobbed.
“My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation on the other side of the world?” the man asked.
“I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.”
“And?”
“At the end of the letter she had written:
P.S. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter, don’t forget to give it to my son.”
—–
Men Vs. Women Joke
MAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Wind window down
3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN
4) Retrieve cash
5) Drive away
WOMAN:
1) Pull up to machine
2) Open door (too far away from machine)
3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card
4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix hair
5) Insert Card
6) Remove card
7) Insert card the correct way up
8) Search for piece of paper with PIN on it
9) Enter PIN
10) Enter correct PIN
11) Retrieve cash, put in bag
12) Drive off
13) Reverse back to machine
14) Retrieve card
15) Drive three miles away
16) Release hand-brake
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