My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.
How to prepare Tofu: 1. Throw it in the trash. 2. Grill some Meat.
I don’t mean to brag but……I finished my14-day diet in just 3 hours and 20 minutes.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented….I forgot where I was going with this.
I love being over 50. I learn something new every day…….and forget 5 others.
A thief broke into my house last night……He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like: I KNOW!
I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
PS: Sunday, March 13, was the beginning of Daylight Savings Time. I hope you remembered to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds.