Humor #346

I’m Aging Gracefully

I’m the life of the party … even when it lasts until 8 p.m

I’m very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I’m good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid …

I’m the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a word you’re saying.

I’m very good at telling stories … over and over and over and over.

I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I’m so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care …

I’m not grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians …

I’m positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.

I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place.

I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy … and that’s just my left leg.

I’m having trouble remembering simple words like …

I’m now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.

I’m realizing that aging is not for sissies!

I’m anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory …

I’m walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.

I’m going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors: absolutely nothing!

I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I’m in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD’s, IRA’S, AARP.

I’m supporting all movements now … by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I’m a walking storeroom of facts … I’ve just lost the storeroom.

I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I would send it to many more! You didn’t, did you???????

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