Humor #369

I tried taking some high-res pictures of some local farmland;

but they all turned out really grainy

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If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.

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My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.

So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.

Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.

He held it up and said with a charming little smile, “We better throw this one out too then, ’cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.”

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If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments!

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Question: If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing??

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A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, “Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?”

“The glaciers brought them down,” said the guide.

“But where are the glaciers?” The lady asked.

“The glaciers,” said the guide in a weary voice, “have gone back for more rocks.”

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild …

except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.

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Little Emily, the minister’s daughter, ran into the house, crying as though her heart would break.

“What’s wrong, dear?” asked the pastor.

“My doll! Billy broke it!” she sobbed.

“How did he break it, Emily?”

“I hit him over the head with it.”

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