Humor #371

Toy Disclaimers

* No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.

* Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.

* Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.

* Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.

* Some dismemberment may occur.

* Do not purchase this toy at all.  Put it back on the shelf!  NOW!!  Just walk away, timid little man.

* Failure to fall immediately to your knees in gratitude and eternally thank parents for shelling out $400 and waiting in line behind a smelly woman from Jersey City for two hours to *get* your Sega Dreamcast — especially when you’ve already got a Playstation and a box full of games that are now headed for the next garage sale — may result in bodily injury.

* Do not stare at product.  Hey!  You’re doing it now!  Cut that out!!

* In case of breakage, scream until dad buys a replacement.

* Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.

* Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.

*Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.

* NOTE: The makers of “Queen Amidala’s Naboo Dream Palace” assume no responsibility for the quality of the movie which spawned it.

* Some assimilation required.  Resistance is futile.

Advertisements