The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
1. Parish information, read only during the homily.
2. Catholic air conditioning.
3. Your receipt for attending Mass.
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.
The last song at Mass, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.
An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams.
The original “Jaws” story.
When kids have kids of their own.
The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by an HMO.
2. The Bible’s way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.
1. A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches.
2. The word spoken when Incense is used.
The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass – led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew, or which ones are broken.