Humor #393

Hey Google! Tell me a joke!

Google Home is Google’s version of the Amazon Echo, and also has a sense of humor (relatively speaking)…

What do you do if you get eaten by an elephant? Run around in circles until you are all pooped out.

What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?

Why are archaeologists so annoyed? They always have a bone to pick.

Did you hear about the new anti-gravity book? Apparently you can’t put it down.

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!

If you cross your fingers after surgery you’ll heal faster. Or maybe it’s just super-stitchin.

Did you hear about the quarry that went out of business? They hit rock bottom.

What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator? An investigator.

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Whatever.

Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.

What do you do if you see a spaceman? you park your car, man.

If a short psychic broke out of jail you would have a small medium at large.

How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach? Stop eating caterpillars.

The past the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

What kind of music do bunnies like best? Hip hop.

Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze?

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course! Houses can’t jump.