A blond goes out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blond on the opposite bank.
“Yoo-hoo” she shouts, “how can I get to the other side?”
The second blond looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, “You are already on the other side.”
“Grandpa, I’m really proud of you,” said the modish young lady.
“What’s to be proud of?” asked the old man.
The young lady replied, “I noticed that when you sneeze, you’ve learned to put your hand in front of your mouth.”
“Of course,” explained Grandpa.
“How else can I catch my teeth???”
A man was about to tee off on the golf course when he felt a tap on his shoulder and a man handed him a card that read, “I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please?”
The first man angrily gave the card back, and made it clear that, no, he may NOT play through, and that his handicap did not give him such a right.
The first man whacked the ball onto the green & left to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put his ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball, laying him out cold.
When he came to, a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other holding up 4 fingers.
Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and she didn’t mind letting her boyfriend know it, too:
“A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry,” she told him.
“Really?” asked the boyfriend. “And just how many men are you planning to marry?”