Humor #459

A college’s student body is composed of the sons and daughters of the very rich who could not meet the academic requirements of any other college. Lo and behold, the college basketball team wins every game and dominates their league. All this success is due to one amazing player – a cross between Larry Bird and Michael Jordan.

This kid is terrific. The player and the team become the center of nationwide media attention. The student body is thrilled. Now, the NCAA goes to the college and asks for proof of this player’s academic eligibility. The college administration promises such documentation in a few days. The faculty works night and day coaching the student for the crucial test.

The day of the public examination arrives, and the entire student body is there to support their star player. A professor stands, and announces the first question, “How much is five and two?” The student frowns in deep concentration – he thinks, he sweats, he shakes with effort. At last he shouts the answer, “SEVEN”. The entire student body rises, and as a single voice, they cry. “Give him another chance. Give him another chance”.

 —–

 After dying in a car crash, three friends find themselves at an orientation to enter heaven. Each one was asked, “When you are in your casket, what would you like to hear your friends and family saying about you?”

 Sean says, “I would like to hear them say I was a great doctor and a great family man.”

 Karl says, “I would like to hear them say I was a wonderful husband and an excellent teacher who made a difference in children’s lives.”

 Juan says, “I would like to hear them say, ‘Look! He’s moving!'”

 —–

 At a high school, a group of students played a prank: they let three goats loose inside the school.

But before turning them loose, they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2, and 4.

School administrators spent most of the day looking for No. 3.

 —–

 Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person. “However, if you’re over 65,” he said, ” the price will be only $5.50.”

From the back of the congregation, a woman’s voice rang out, “Do you really think I’d give you that information for only 50 cents?”

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