A student burst into his professor’s office and says; “Professor Stigler, I don’t believe I deserve this F you’ve given me.”
To which Stigler replied, “I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award.”
Husband: I just saw a very beautiful woman.
Wife: Really? Then what happened?
Husband: I just kept on admiring her, on and on…
Wife (getting irritated): WHAT happened then?
Husband smiled and said: You’re still here!
Did you hear about the guy who went to the dentist to get new dentures?
His insurance was denied and he only had a dollar on him… so he wound up with buck teeth.
A fine is a tax for doing something wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing something right.
A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will”
“Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.