There are only three kinds of people: Those who are good in math and those who are not.
What do atheist’s do when stuck behind cars stopped at green lights with bumper stickers that say, “Honk if you love Jesus.”
Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?”
“Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears. “That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?
“I did!” sobbed Johnny.
A physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
Be still, my heart, thought my friend, gee, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor!
Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”
The census taker knocked on the lady’s door. She answered all his questions except one: she refused to tell him her age.
“But everyone tells their age to the census taker,” he said.
“Did Miss Maisy Hill and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?” she asked.
“Certainly,” he replied.
“Well, I’m the same age as they are,” she snapped.
The census taker simply wrote on the form, “As old as the Hills.”