A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk.
“Well … they feel a bit tight.” replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet.
“Try pulling out on the tongue.” offers the clerk.
“Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth.” He says.
This police officer sees an old lady driving and knitting at the same time so after driving next to her for a while he yells to her, “PULLOVER”. She replies, “No a pair of socks”.
“So, what’s the matter?” asked one woman of her friend over coffee. “I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband.”
“Oh, everything went wrong,” the second woman answered.
“First, he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish.
Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon.
“All that might have been all right; but to make matters worse, I ended up catching the most fish!”
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
“Can you tell me how much you charge?” asked the client.
“Of course,” the lawyer replied. “I charge $200 to answer three questions.”
“Well, that’s a bit steep, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is,” said the lawyer. “And what’s your third question?”
While leaving our small-town carnival, our sons, ages six and two, were walking hand-in-hand behind my husband and me. We overheard Tyler tell his younger brother, Cory, “This is what heaven is like—except it’s free!”