Humor #476

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.

Now you know why they call it a workstation!

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 An Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg. “I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.”

 “That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.”

 “How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor.

 “Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!”

 —–

  A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, “If you don’t stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon.”

 Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, “Uh-oh … I know what you’ve been doing.”

  —–

 On an airplane, the flight attendant asked a man, “Would you like dinner?”

The man responded, “What are my choices?”

The flight attendant answered, “Yes, or no.”

 —– 

As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a creek.  With alligators in the area, however, that was less than ideal.

Then a minister friend suggested I bring my next group of baptismal candidates to his church for a joint baptismal service.  Naturally, I accepted.

The baptismal pool had a clear front so the congregation could see everything.  When the baptisms were finished, curtains were drawn, and I was left alone in the pool for a moment.  The building had no air conditioning, and it was quite hot.  I thought how nice it would feel to take a little dip.  I glided to one end, turned, and backstroked to the other end.

Hearing a riotous uproar in the church, I looked toward the congregation.

The curtain was down only to the top of the glass!  An astonished and amused congregation had been watching my every move.