Humor # 481

****JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH****

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl

Whispered to her mother,

‘Why is the bride dressed in white?”

The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color

Of happiness,

And today is the happiest day of her life.’

The child thought about this for a moment then said,

‘So why is the groom wearing black?’

—–

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about

Their fathers.

The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words

On a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,

They give him $50.’

The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad

Scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,

He calls it a song, they give him $100.’

The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad

Scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,

He calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to

Collect all the money!’

—–

An elderly woman died last month.

Having never married, she requested no male

Pallbearers.

In her handwritten instructions for her memorial

Service, she wrote,

‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive,

I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’

—–

A police recruit was asked during the exam,

‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own

Mother?’

He answered, ‘Call for backup.’

—–

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why

Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem .

A small child replied, ‘They couldn’t get a baby-sitter.’

—–

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments

With her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to ‘Honour thy

Father and thy mother,’ she asked,

‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to

Treat our brothers and sisters?’

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,

‘Thou shall not kill..’

—–

At Sunday School they were teaching how God

Created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they

Told him

How Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying

Down as though he were ill,

And she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’ Little

Johnny responded,

‘I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have

A wife.’

—–

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old..

You grow old because you stop laughing!