The Law of Parenthood
There is the Law of Gravity – and then, there is the Law of Parenthood
– A child’s behavior will improve in proportion to the distance she is away from the parent.
– Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of tantrum lasts 20 times as long as two minutes of quiet time.
– The choice of a preschooler’s best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house.
– A child’s enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent’s enjoyment.
– The chance of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home.
– A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year unless it is the only food in the fridge.
– The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor.