A guy drove to the beach and parked his car close to the water’s edge – not realizing it was Low Tide – then he went for a long hike up into the mountains. During his excursion, High Tide came and then receded – completely submersing his car for a period of time in the process. When he finally returned to his car – he became very concerned when he found out that he had Tuna in his Mercury!
A man bought a new boat and asked his wife what he should name it. She said, “Name it after me.” The next time she saw the boat, it had “After Me” on the back of it.
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army
doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”
Here’s hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.
Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to ten dollars.
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. “What’s the matter?” he was asked.
He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.'”
“She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?”
“She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!”