Humor #495

A Sunday school class of kindergartners was studying the creation story. After several weeks, they were ready to review. “What did God make the first day?” the teacher quizzed. “The second day?” They answered both questions correctly.

“And what happened on the third day?” she asked.

One little child, face shining with enthusiasm, exclaimed, “He rose from the dead!”

—–

The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school.

One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, “I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”

 —–

 Recently a young woman came into my father’s insurance office with her newborn twins.

Dad asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart.

She gave him a funny look before responding, “No, I haven’t had any problem. This is Benjamin, and this is Elizabeth.”

 —–

After trying to for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled,

“GET THIS ROOM CLEAN NOW, BEFORE I HAVE A COW!!!”

My youngest daughter (3 years old) looked at me with a very puzzled expression and said,

“You mean you’re going to get rid of us and have a cow instead?”

—–

 Little Johnny sat playing in the garden.

When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm.

She turned pale. “No, Johnny! Stop! That’s horrible! You can’t eat worms!”

Trying to convince him further she noted, “The mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby worm.”

“No, she isn’t,” said Johnny.

“How do you know she’s not?” said the mother.

“Because I ate her first!” answered Little Johnny.

 

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