Humor #525

Three guys are fishing on a lake when an angel appears in the boat with them. The first guy gets over his shock and humbly says to the angel, “I’ve suffered from back pain for years. Is it too much to ask that you help me?” The angel touches the man’s back, and he feels instant relief.

The second guy points to his Coke-bottle glasses and asks if the angel could cure his poor eyesight. The angel tosses the man’s glasses into the lake. When they hit the water, the man’s vision clears, and he can see everything distinctly.

The angel now turns to the third guy, who throws up his hands in fear. “Don’t touch me!” he cries. “I’m on disability!”

—–

 As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: “And get ME a Coke…NOW!”

The flight attendant, flustered by the parrot’s attitude, brings back a Coke for the parrot. However, she forgets the coffee for the guy.

As the guy points this out, the parrot drains his glass and screams:”Get me another Coke or I’ll really create a scene!”

Quite upset, the attendant comes back shaking, with another Coke, but still no coffee.

Irritated at her forgetfulness, the man decides to try the parrot’s approach. “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it right now, or I’ll create a scene that will make HIS look like a Victorian tea party!”

The next moment, both the guy and the parrot are grabbed and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly security guards.

Hurtling towards earth, the parrot turns to him and says: “You’re pretty bold for a guy who can’t fly!”

—–

Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

“Kneeling is definitely best,” claimed one.

“No,” another contended.  “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.”

“You’re both wrong,” the third insisted.  “The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor.”

The repairman could contain himself no longer.

“Hey, fellas,” he interrupted, “the best prayin’ I ever did was hangin’ upside down from a telephone pole.”

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