Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said: “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said:
“First Question: Which tire was flat?”
My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said “At the end of this ruler there’s an idiot.”
I got detention after asking which end.
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?”
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix ’em, put ’em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic…
“Try doing it with the engine running.”
A man went to his doctor complaining about having weird dreams. “Doc, I keep having these bad dreams. One night I’m a wigwam, the next I’m a teepee, wigwam, teepee every night. Am I going crazy?”
The doctor replied, “No, you’ll be just fine. You’re just too tense.”