Humor #546

A man is incomplete until he is married… then he is finished.

 —–

 Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.”

“Good idea,” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.”

 —–

 Eight men have been at a mental hospital for a period of time and are being tested to find out how they are progressing in order for them to leave the institution. The doctor in charge takes them all into a room and with a ball pen draws a door on the wall and asks each one of the patients to try and open the door for him as part of the test. Seven of them rushed out and attempted to open the door on the wall.

 The doctor was disappointed with the results but never the less called on the last one who was still sitting down and asked him why didn’t he stand up and try to open the door with the others.

 The eighth man replied: “because I was holding the key to the door”

 —–

 One day while at her job as a bank loan officer, Patty Black, had a frog hop onto her desk and say, “I would like to apply for a lily-pad improvement loan.”

 Patty looked incredulously at the frog and said, “I’m sorry, we don’t loan money to frogs.”

 To which the frog replied, “I have collateral,” as he handed her a small ceramic trinket.

 Not wanting to be impolite, Patty said, “I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to the bank manager.”

She walked back to the manager’s office and said, “There is a frog out here, asking for a lily-pad improvement loan, and this trinket is all he has for collateral.”

 The bank manager picked up the trinket and looked at it carefully. Then smiling he turned to Patty and said, “Why it’s a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a loan.”