Humor #547

Teacher: Class, you have 30 minutes to write a composition on the subject of Baseball

Jonah: Here’s my paper

Teacher: Jonah, you spent only one minute writing your essay

Lets hear what you wrote

Jonah: Game called off on account of rain

 —–

 A new pastor decided to visit the children’s Sunday school. The teacher introduced him and said, “Pastor, this morning we’re studying Joshua.”

“That’s wonderful,” said the new pastor, “Let’s see what you’re learning. Who tore down the walls of Jericho?”

Little Johnny shyly raised hand and offered, “Pastor, I didn’t do it.”

Taken aback the pastor asked, “Come on, now, who tore down the walls of Jericho?”

The teacher, interrupting, said, “Pastor, little Johnny’s a good boy. If he says he didn’t do it, I believe he didn’t do it.”

Flustered, the pastor went to the Sunday school director and related the story to him. The director, looking worried, explained, “Well, sir, we’ve had some problems with Johnny before. Let me talk to him and see what we can do.”

Really bothered now by the answers of the teacher and the director, the new pastor approached the deacons and related the whole story, including the responses of the teacher and the director. A white-haired gentleman thoughtfully stroked his chin and said, “Well, Pastor, I move we just take the money from the general fund to pay for the walls and leave it at that.”

—–

 An engineer in an upscale hotel was asked to repair or replace the television in a guest room. When he arrived, the couple was watching a picture one-third the size of the screen. He knew all the spare sets were in use, so he figured what the heck and struck the side of the TV with the heel of his hand. The picture returned to full size.

“Look, honey,” said the wife to her husband. “He went to the same repair school as you.”

—–

 One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, “When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don’t love me anymore.”

“Nonsense, darling,” replied the husband, “you just cook better now.”

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