A preacher was standing at the pulpit giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him. The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT.
Looking up at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said: I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names but this is the first time I will see a man sign his name and forget to write the letters.
A doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. “I’m afraid her mind’s completely gone,” he said.
“Makes sense,” mumbled the man. “She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.”
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.
Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children,
“Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa in there.”
During a difficult psychology lecture, a pre-med student interrupted: “Why do we have to learn this stuff?”
“To save lives,” Professor Mike Wilson responded firmly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again: “So, how exactly does psychology save lives?”
Dr. Wilson replied, “It keeps the idiots out of medical school.”