Humor #556

 At a bus stop, a dad handed out bus fare to each member of our family except our four-year-old daughter, Nina. Feeling left out, she asked, “What about me?!”

 Mom explained, “Nina, you’re free.”

 She then protested, saying, “No, Mommy! I’m four!”


 On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crewmembers take turns in the galley helping the cooks. One young seaman aboard was always dropping dishes and spilling food.

One day, alone in the galley, he noticed an unfrosted yellow sheet cake cooling on a counter. Determined to rectify past errors, the seaman made chocolate icing and carefully decorated the cake with it. The seaman stood proudly by the dessert as the head cook returned to the galley.

Frantically, the cook began to look around. “Where did my CORNBREAD go?” he shouted.


 A doctor worked on the tenth floor of an office building. In the building was a pub, where the doctor had a lemon daiquiri, every day at quitting time. The bartender’s name was Dick.

 One day Dick found out he didn’t have any lemons and no time to get any. So he thought he would make up a hickory daiquiri instead and at the end of the day, the doctor would be too tired to notice.

The doctor sat down, took a sip and said “This isn’t a lemon daiquiri, Dick!”…To which Dick replied, “No, it’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc!”


 After watching the girls do line dancing, Michael thought, hey I can do this. So he got in line and asked one of the girls, what’s the name of this dance?

 “She said I don’t know; this is the line for the bathroom”


The first graders were attending their first music lesson. The teacher was trying to begin at the beginning. She drew a musical staff on the blackboard and asked a little girl to come up and write a note on it.

The little girl went to the blackboard, looked thoughtful for a minute and wrote, “Dear Aunt Emma, just a short note to tell you I’m fine.”