Humor #558

We had built our dream house some years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as we could afford them.  Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway.

“Finally!” I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the driver walked up to the house.  “I’ve been waiting twelve years for this!”

“Don’t blame me, lady,” he said.  “I just got the order this morning.”

—–

For months Bill had been Lynn’s devoted admirer.  Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions.

“There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,” Bill began, “but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one’s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one’s joys and sorrows.”

To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn’s eyes.  Then she nodded in agreement.  Finally, Lynn responded,

“I think it’s a great idea!  Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?”

—–

One day a gentleman walked into one of Ben Franklin’s book stores. As one of the clerks went to assist him, the gentleman asked the clerk the price of the book he wished to purchase. The young clerk looked at the price posted on the book and said, “That book is one dollar, sir.”

The gentleman began to haggle with the clerk over the price. The clerk assured him that the correct price for the book was one dollar and no lower. As the man realized that his efforts to haggle with the clerk were going nowhere, he insisted on speaking with Ben Franklin directly.

Franklin stopped his work and walked out to the storefront. The gentleman asked him, “What is the price of this book?”

Franklin answered, “One dollar and a quarter.”

The gentleman was confused and replied, “Your clerk just said it was a dollar.”

Franklin looked at the book again and answered, “Yes, it was a dollar. But now you’re wasting my time.”

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