A lady was having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas and she was down to her last $50.
Exasperated, she exclaimed, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?”
A man standing next to her suggested, “I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?” and walked away.
Moments later, his attention was grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. “Maybe she won!” he thought. Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd he found the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
The man was stunned. He asked, “What happened? Is she all right?”
The operator replied, “I don’t know. She put all her money on 29 and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!”
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My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and so I asked why it was so long.
“Because,” my son explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”
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I hate it when I think that I’m buying “Organic” vegetables, but when I get home they’re just regular donuts.
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Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were.
“I’m so tough”, said the first boy, “that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week”.
“Well”, said the second little boy, “I’m so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day”.
“That’s nothing”, said the third boy. “When my parents take me to see my grandma and grandpa, I can wear them out in just one hour.”
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As in many homes on New Year’s Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important – the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.
Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even brought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.
“See?” she said, continuing to smile, “You didn’t miss a thing.”
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