Humor #564

Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks of captivity they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish three times a day.

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 A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the lawyer’s rates.

“$50.00 for three questions,” replied the lawyer.

“Isn’t that awfully steep?” asked the man.

“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what is your third question?”

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 The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home.

“The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”

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  1. What do you call a polar bear with ear muffs?
  2. Anything you want, he can’t hear you!

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 One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, ‘Good morning Alex.’

‘Good morning Pastor,’ he replied, still focused on the plaque. ‘Pastor, what is this?’

The pastor said, ‘Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.’

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, ‘Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?’