Humor #565

Joe: “This morning my dad gave me soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.”

Sam: “I bet you were mad.”

Joe: “Mad? I was foaming at the mouth!”

—–

For months he had been her devoted admirer.  Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions:

“There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,” he began, “but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being — a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one’s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one’s joys and sorrows.”

To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes.  Then she nodded in agreement.

Finally, she responded, “I think its a great idea!  Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?”

 —–

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”

Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, Dewey, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour… I’ll be ready in a minute!”

—–

 A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. “I’d like a little brother,” the boy said.

“Oh my, that’s such a big wish,” said the mother. “Why do you want a little brother?”

“Well,” said the boy, “there’s only so much I can blame on the dog.”