Humor #570


Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?

They both drop their needles.


Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the fancy Christmas dance?

It was a moth ball!


Where does Santa go swimming?

The North Pool!


What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?

Sandy Claws


I went to my friend’s house recently and noticed that his Christmas tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked, “What’s the deal, no decorations?” Puzzled, he looked at me and said, “What do you mean? It’s a cartridge in a bare tree.”


While helping my 5-year-old twins rehearse “Away in a Manger” for their Christmas concert, I struggled to explain the lyrics, “the cattle are lowing …” When I told them that people spoke differently in Old Testament times than they do today, my daughter, Robin, piped up, “Old Testament cows low—and New Testament cows moo!”

Advent was one week away so we thought we’d see what the children remembered from our family devotions the year before. “Who can tell me what the four candles in the Advent wreath represent?” I asked.

Luke jumped in with seven-year-old wisdom and exuberance. “There’s love, joy, peace, and … and … “

“I know!” six-year-old Elise interrupted to finish her brother’s sentence: “Peace and quiet!”