Humor #579

I took my young son to the doctor for a routine physical. All the way I had to reassure him that he would not be getting a shot. He went through his eye exam, hearing test, etc. The nurse came into the exam room and started to ask me routine questions.

When she got to “Is he allergic to anything” my four year old son stood up and said “YES, I’m allergic to shots!”

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 Finding a volunteer to be church treasurer is always a challenge. But after reading the church’s Annual Report, I was not surprised to hear several members express interest in the position. The outgoing treasurer had concluded her report with: “It has truly been my pleasure to work with the church finances. I have received far more than I ever gave.”

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A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

“Here is the situation,” she said.  “A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing.  He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.  His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank.  Why do you think she ran to the bank?”

A girl raised her hand and asked,

“To draw out all his savings?”

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Joe’s wife liked to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch.

His wife, with hurt feelings, said, “What’s the matter, Joe? Don’t you like my singing?”

Joe replied, “Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I’m not beating you.”