Humor #580

The Sunday morning service had ended, and the pastor was greeting parishioners as they were leaving. Everyone was friendly as they greeted him, but no one said anything about the sermon.

The pastor was getting a little concerned about that until someone said, “Oh, pastor, your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God.”

A little puzzled, the pastor asked him to explain what he meant.

The parishioner explained. “Well, pastor, that sermon reminded me of the peace of God because it passed all understanding. And it reminded me of the love of God because it endured forever.”

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 A woman is more aggressive at work than she realizes. After she had her annual performance review, she was asked, “How did it go?”

“They had written that I was overbearing,” she replied with a shrug. “I made them take it off.”

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 After a rigorous drilling program, a group of ROTC cadets was about to board the trucks back to the barracks. Just for fun, the cadets fell into formation with their caps on backward.

the lieutenant in charge was indignant at this breach of military decorum and dressed down the cadet leader, “Cadet! I want to see those caps facing front *Immediately!*”

The young cadet captain was unshaken. He called his group to attention, then commanded crisply, “About face!”

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 In On This Day by Carl D. Windsor, the page for Valentine’s Day includes this anecdote: “Even the most devoted couple will experience a ‘stormy’ bout once in a while. A grandmother, celebrating her golden wedding anniversary, once told the secret of her long and happy marriage. ‘On my wedding day, I decided to make a list of ten of my husband’s faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook,’ she said.

“A guest asked the woman what some of the faults she had chosen to overlook were. The grandmother replied, ‘To tell you the truth, my dear, I never did get around to listing them. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, Lucky for him that’s one of the ten!’ “

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