Professor Stein was lecturing his physics class. “If molecules can be split into atoms and the atoms split into electrons, can the electrons be broken down any further?”
A pupil replied, “I’m not certain, but a sure way to find out would be to mail some of them in a Christmas package marked ‘fragile.'”
A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class.
To encourage him, his teacher said, “You’ll know you’re really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French.”
The boy ran into class all excited one day, saying, “Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!”
“Great!” said the teacher; “what were they saying?”
“I don’t know,” the boy replied; “I couldn’t understand them.”
The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a cute photo of me at age 15. Years later, when I went to the courthouse to become a citizen, a clerk confiscated my card.
“What will you do with it?” my wife asked.
“We burn it” was the answer.
“Could you please cut the photo off and let us keep it?” asked my wife.
“Certainly not,” said the clerk. “This card is official U.S. government property. As such it cannot be mutilated before it’s destroyed.”
When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit. One day a long letter came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it.
However, a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read:”You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure.”
So I did.