Humor #592

A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, “Congratulations — you have a son!”

Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up, and cried, “Hey, what’s the idea? I got here two hours before he did!”

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Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was preparing to tee off, the organizer of the tournament approached him and pointed to the dark, threatening storm clouds which were gathering.

“Preacher,” the organizer said, “I trust you’ll see to it that the weather won’t turn bad on us.”

Our pastor shook his head. “Sorry,” he replied. “I’m sales, not management!

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In a small business office they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words.

Early one Monday the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages and she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer, “My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N.”

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 My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.

He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like.  It seems the minister asked my Mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband.” And she said, “I do.”

Then the minister asked my Dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” and my Mom said, “He does.”

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Teacher: Billy, give me a sentence starting with “I”.

Billy: I is …

Teacher: No, Billy. Always say, “I am.”

Billy: All right … “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”