Nurse: Good morning Mr. Frobisher, you seem to be coughing much more easily this morning.
Mr. Frobisher: That’s because I’ve been practicing all night.
—–
When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at “Mom” and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened.
“Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll take care of it.”
A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was “Mom.”
“Martin,” she said, “you left your cell phone at the convenience store.”
—–
I am really bad at measuring pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti, come on over!
—–
“I hate being half bicycle – half motorcycle,” he moped.
—–
Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people; we haven’t met yet.
—–
I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!
