Humor #615

I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about groups. In one exercise, pupils were asked to label a group of items according to their common characteristics.

Pictured were onion rings, doughnuts, a bundt cake, and ring cookies. The correct answer would have been that all the items have holes in the center.

But one health-conscious boy’s response was, “All of those things contain too much cholesterol.”

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A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter “playing wedding.”

The wedding vows went like this:

“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.”

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Interviewer: So what do you have planned for the future?

Me: Lunch

Interviewer: No, I mean long term.

Me: Oh… Dinner.

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We were eating corn on the cob two weeks ago and my 5-year-old daughter Rachel seemed to be struggling with it a little bit.

I said “Rachel, eat it like a typewriter.”

She looked at me with pure innocence in her eyes and said “Mommy, what’s a typewriter?”