Humor #618

Death and taxes are inevitable…

But at least death doesn’t get worse every year!

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Teacher: “Jay, why are you down today?”

Jay: “Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad is at the police station.”

Teacher: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?”

Jay: “Yes, please.”

After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher asks the other classmates, “Why is Jay’s father at the police station and the mother at the hospital?”

Classmate: “Because his father is a policeman and his mom’s a nurse.”

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I told my boss that three companies were after me, so I needed a raise in pay to stay with the current job.

He asked which companies?

I told him gas, electric, and cable.

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What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

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Interviewer: What drives you?

Candidate: The bus mostly.

Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?

Candidate: Missing the bus!