Death and taxes are inevitable…
But at least death doesn’t get worse every year!
Teacher: “Jay, why are you down today?”
Jay: “Because my mom is at the hospital and my dad is at the police station.”
Teacher: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, dear. Do you want to go home?”
Jay: “Yes, please.”
After Jay has left the classroom, the teacher asks the other classmates, “Why is Jay’s father at the police station and the mother at the hospital?”
Classmate: “Because his father is a policeman and his mom’s a nurse.”
I told my boss that three companies were after me, so I needed a raise in pay to stay with the current job.
He asked which companies?
I told him gas, electric, and cable.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Interviewer: What drives you?
Candidate: The bus mostly.
Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?
Candidate: Missing the bus!