My daughter came home so excited…
She had to parallel park at work and received the following note of praise: PARKING FINE.
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. One said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word.”
“Wow!’ said the other. “How did you manage that?”
“It’s easy, my last words are always ‘Yes, Dear.’”
As he was standing in line at the grocery store checkout counter, a friend of John’s noticed he was purchasing a dozen roses and a card.
“You in trouble with Jill?” the friend asked John.
“Nope!” was John’s reply. “Preventive maintenance.”
A lady makes an emergency stop at a dentist office and tells the dentist, “I need a tooth pulled right away. Don’t even bother with the Novocain, just yank the tooth out. We’re in a really big hurry.”
The dentist is really impressed and says,”M’am I really admire your courage. Which tooth do want to have pulled?”
The lady shoves her husband toward the dentist and says “Go ahead dear, show him your tooth.”