My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it.
“Oh,” said My Dad, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.”
“How come?” I asked.
“Well,” he answered, “because with a clarinet, she can’t sing.”
Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 5-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
“Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
Been on a diet for two weeks and all I lost is 14 days.
A 17-year-old girl had just gotten her driver’s license and offered to take her mom’s car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, “What grade, miss?”
“Eleventh!” she replied
Dietitian: Did you follow the course that I have given you 4 weeks ago?
Client: Yes, of course!
Dietitian: So did you lose at least 4lbs ?
Client: No! I lost 4 weeks!