Humor #630

My boss didn’t come in to work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem.

When I asked what was wrong, he replied, “I just can’t see myself at work today.”

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What exactly is junk?

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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My friend David lost his ID. Now we just call him Dave.

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A guy calls AAA: “I’m stranded on the side of the road.”

AAA: “At least you have a shoulder to cry on.”

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My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next table discussing their bill.

“Well Mary,” said the man,

“Near as I can figure, based on the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we’ve got a hog back on the farm worth at least $137,000.”