My boss didn’t come in to work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem.
When I asked what was wrong, he replied, “I just can’t see myself at work today.”
What exactly is junk?
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
My friend David lost his ID. Now we just call him Dave.
A guy calls AAA: “I’m stranded on the side of the road.”
AAA: “At least you have a shoulder to cry on.”
My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next table discussing their bill.
“Well Mary,” said the man,
“Near as I can figure, based on the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we’ve got a hog back on the farm worth at least $137,000.”